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princeofkawaii:

middleshiner:

why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?

They can’t swallow because that’s gay

(via eternallyconfusedforever)

Source: middleshiner-archive
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ivegottobethere:

ima-ho-ho-ho:

rneerkat:

snapfox:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises

it becomes daytrogen

I’m going to bed.

good nitrogen

sleep tightrogen

don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

(via eternallyconfusedforever)

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dragimal:

mistletease:

makeshipsnotwar:

eyeslikedust:

thefandomedson:

mage-thing-of-breath:

lodeman:

fairythoughtless:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

no you guys dont understand RAPUNZEL IS GERMAN FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF LETTUCE

I WOULD BE SAD IF PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS A TYPE OF LETTUCE BECAUSE THE STORY OF RAPUNZEL SHE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER LETTUCE.

no her name means never give up

NONONONOOOO!!!!!!!! IN THE ORIGINAL STORY RAPUNZEL’S MOM GETS CRAVINGS!!! WHEN SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SEES SOME RAPUNZEL, AND IS  LIKE “iF I DONT HAVE SO OF THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW, I WILL CHOKE SOMEONE!” WELL, OF COURSE THE FUCKING GARDEN BELONGS TO A WITCH, BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF A FAIRYTALE! sO, HER HUBBY SNEAKS OVER, AND GETS HER SOME.THEN, HE GETS CAUGHT, AND IN PUNISHMENT, HE HAS TO GIVE UP HIS BABY WHEN SHE’S BORN. sO THE WITCH LOCKS HER IN A TOWER, AND NAMES HER RAPUNZEL AFTER THE FUCKING LETTUCE. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU GET THE IDEA THAT HER NAME MEANS NEVER GIVE UP, BUT IT’S WRONG . FUCKITY BYE!

IT MEANS NE\/ER GI\/E UP.

Well her mother never did give up on that fucking lettuce did she

I WATCHED A CARTOON OF RAPUNZEL WHEN I WAS REALLY SMALL AND I’M 98% SURE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH LETTUCE

buT GUYS

(via eternallyconfusedforever)

Source: vogelbird
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titshemsworth:

pachurz:

partyintheusanus:

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT

image

Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths.

image

(via notenuf)

Source: sorryr
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doctortriggers:

when someone asks if they can draw or write you a thingimage

(via eternallyconfusedforever)

Source: doctortriggers
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richardcreech:

MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION

GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA

(via eternallyconfusedforever)

Source: richardcreech
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  • Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
  • Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
  • Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
Source: jncos
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stability:

Those are some hot buns

stability:

Those are some hot buns

(via helio-phobic)

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pecancat:

katelouisepowell:

I met a nice cat on the way home

He’s trying to remember your scent so when the feline uprising happens he’ll know to spare you for your intimate kindness

(via justaboutperfect)

Source: katelouisepowell